All people have the right to become parents; however, it is not uncommon for a pregnancy to be impossible, either naturally or artificially, due to male or female health problems. Therefore, adoption is an alternative that allows these people to raise a child by offering him the love he has been deprived of due to abandonment by his biological parents and his stay in an orphanage impersonal and unable to provide him with maternal care.
How do I know if the kid is going to be “good”?
Many people express strong doubts about adoption because they are concerned about the child’s biological parents, that is, the genes he inherited and how they will affect his development and character formation. Usually, these parents were forced to leave their child because of economic or social difficulties, ignorance, and significant problems that they could not solve and prevented them from raising a child.
Various problems may arise in the child’s behavior regardless of whether it grows up with his biological or adoptive parents. The environment in which the child grows, the stimuli, and the quality of the upbringing it receives play a decisive role. If he accepts the love, care, and security he so badly needs in a healthy environment, then it is more likely that any problems that arise will be successfully solved with the appropriate help.
Secrecy or truth?
There is no doubt that the child has the right to know that he is adopted. Hiding the truth can be detrimental to the cohesion of the family and especially to the adopted child. Nothing is hidden forever; when the child is confronted with reality, he may react violently or be mentally injured.
The appropriate age for adoptive parents to inform the child about adoption, according to the scientists, is relatively early, between two and five years. Of course, it will not be easy for him to understand the concept of adoption from the beginning, so parents can start by reading him fairytales that tell similar stories or talk directly to the child about his story. Naturally, a young child will find it challenging to understand the adoption concept fully, so parents will need to explain it several times. Also, for the child to understand the meaning of adoption, he must be familiar with specific knowledge about birth, reproduction, roles, and relationships in the family.
Many parents are silent on the truth, fearing that such an announcement could injure their young child’s soul. However, parents will not always be able to protect their child from all the heartache or bad events that arise. The discussion at an early age will lay the foundation for creating an open and honest relationship between family members. It is well known that secrets and lies bring more lies to hide the truth, thus creating a vicious circle. But with a sincere attitude towards adoption, the child will understand that this is a normal process and it is not a bad thing that should remain a secret. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to openly answer all the child’s questions about adoption without fear of being hurt.
What am I going to do if my kid wants to meet his biological parents?
Possibly, growing up, the child needs to explore his identity by knowing or learning more about his biological parents. His adoptive parents are called upon to help him in this effort and to prove to him in practice that they will be there to support him no matter what happens; because his biological parents may not treat him properly and accept him. Adoptive parents should not feel threatened by the discovery of birth parents. They will be his parents forever, even if his biological parents enter his life. After all, what makes a real parent is not the fact that he brought it to life but the interest and love he offered the child.
