Why does each of us decide to start a family? What do children mean to us and those around us? Is this decision taken consciously and deliberately or because it is ‘socially acceptable’? How much do we experience our children as “burdens” who “make our lives more difficult” or as beautiful creatures that make our lives more beautiful?
Very often and in a variety of contexts, I hear children being described as “tyrants” who have come to test their parents or parents describe themselves as “unlucky” who have children “fussy,” “manipulating,” “difficult,” “naughty,” “disobedient.” At that point, I wonder about the power of these descriptions, how they can create characters and future situations.
Similarly, I think of the defining power that beautiful descriptions of our children can have not only in third parties but mainly towards them or towards ourselves. Our children need us to be close to them, to show them our admiration and pride in them. However, mostly, they need to feel our love in times when they have behaviors that upset us, embarrass us, or irritate us. Children with their “ugly” behaviors try to work with us and communicate their needs to us – not punish us. That’s where they want our hug, our caress, our tender gaze.
Let’s look back at our children’s first few moments before they start walking, running, talking, painting… Then we worshipped them unconditionally, solely for what they were, extraordinary, lovable creatures. Later, our love and enthusiasm began to manifest themselves when they were calm, smiling, or achieving new things. However, this is not enough for them, and they end up trying out a variety of ways and behaviors to draw their parents’ attention.
We should admire our children, feel blessed that they exist in our lives, learn from their joy and innocence, find the true meaning of life through their gaze, enjoy every moment, be present in their lives, show faith in their abilities and wisdom, and, as a self-fulfilling prophecy, children will begin to bloom, evolve and illuminate the world around them… Our children, these unique, wonderful creatures…