Whether we’re sure who we really are, who is ourselves? Have we fully developed our potential? Or have we given up trying? Do we feel confused about the course we are taking in our lives?
Often, in our effort to discover the true nature of ourselves and the special characteristics that make us unique, we take special consideration of others’ comments and reactions regarding our behavior and our character in general. In many cases, others’ comments are well-intentioned and useful in helping us substantially improve some of our characteristics and reverse our disadvantages to advantages. Advantages that will push us significantly on our way to finding our ideal self and our realization. Others are our mirror as we reflect ourselves through reactions, which are useful feedback on our course in life.
On the other hand, we often uncritically accept any criticism, valid or unrealistic, regarding our individual to such an extent that, in the end, we are convinced that this amounts to the truth, representing our true selves. For example, we tend to attach great importance to comments – especially negative ones – from passers-by in our lives rather than from those who play a decisive role in it. We may hear a plethora of positive comments and a unique negative comment, which will affect our mood and psychology. That often can confuse us and disorient us from meeting our goals as we go into doubting our potential and reviewing things about our personality. This situation is particularly aggravating in our effort to discover and fully evolve our potential, ourselves.
Of course, there will surely be a dose of truth regarding our disadvantages in others’ words. Their perception and acceptance may seem complicated but can work drastically by mobilizing us to correct the wrong texts and improve ourselves.
The relationship between the characteristics that give us and the truth (the nature and properties of our true self) is purely subjective. That relates to how we observe ourselves in different situations, criticize actions, take into account feedback from our environment and what we do to explore further and evolve our potential.
Undoubtedly we live in a society where the prevailing view is that our worth and personalities are assessed based on the material goods we possess, by our economic and social situation, by the adoption or not of the dominant trend of fashion and entertainment people we meet. It is not based on ourselves, our virtues, abilities, inclinations, power of our spirit, etc.
We believe that we will be more liked and accepted if we adopt the characteristics proposed by advertisements and the current way of life. And that is true because we will indeed gain acceptance, but from people who use precisely the same methods to show off their “worth.” This acceptance is temporary. To maintain it, we must constantly adapt to society’s new imperatives but increasingly move away from ourselves’ care and evolution, from our true selves.
Therefore, our real “being” is not found in external stimuli and situations but is deep within us. We can rediscover it with our loved ones’ help, bring it to the fore, and fully develop its potential, which may surprise us!
What are we different from other people? What makes us special? Do we feel familiar or uncomfortable when we are with the important people around us? What people’s behaviors bother us, and what behaviors do we honestly appreciate? What other people see in me is what I think of myself?’ Do I trust myself in my potential? Do I feel proud of what I’ve accomplished?
These questions can trigger the search and engagement with our true (ideal) self, separate it from false or superficial labels, and give it unique values and characteristics. We never lose our “self,” we temporarily lose essential contact with him!